I Can Only Imagine…

I write through tears.  Words fail me tonight.  Thoughts of empty arms fill the mind and tug at the heartstrings.  That empty void.  That numbness.  That overwhelming sadness. That loss.

That blond, shaggy mop of baby-fine hair.   Just sends me reeling, over the edge.

A need for answers, for understanding.    For wisdom, acceptance and hope.  And an intense craving for what comes next, what lies beyond the bend.  For heaven.  That Hope that leads beyond today’s grief and sadness, that murky grey that engulfs.   That leads into tomorrow’s light.  Toward eternity.   And a craving for that peace that passes understanding.

For it is days like these that turn our thoughts toward home. Toward heaven.   And truth be told, we all want heaven.  We want to be where he is.

Where HE is.

And I believe.  That Heaven is a place.  That there is a hope on which to cling.  A peace for tomorrow.  A final  dwelling where tears will never fall, where pain will be no more.  And there is a day coming when we will never say another sad good-bye.

And even as my heart breaks, I have this assurance.  That I will see with my own eyes.  Heaven.  And oh, that will be the day.

And when one feels the questions are too difficult to ask and all the answers elude, there is always simple, childlike faith.  The lifeline on which I cling.  For when storms rise and tempests rage, I hold fast to that one sure Rock on which I stand.  That Rock is Jesus.  My Deliverer.   My Hope.

There is nothing else.

And there are no words to change the fact a life has been interrupted.  Abruptly.  Seemingly, without notice.  There are no words that can truly identify with the pain that must be felt.  I am at a loss. We all are.  There are no gestures that will ever replace what is now missing.  We cannot replace that which is now gone.

But there is Hope.  In the arms of Jesus, there is hope.

Hope for all our yesterdays, for all the moments of today and for all those to come tomorrow.  Because the One who offers that hope lives within my heart.  And I can surely attest to the fact that He will bring me safely to that final shore, reuniting me with loved ones lost.  And hold out His own nail-scarred hand to mine with a welcome like none other that I have ever received.

And truth be told.  I can only imagine what that will be like.

I can only imagine.