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Eleven Ways To Tell You Need A Break From the Fam

Eleven ways in which I realize the Family has spent a bit too much time together lately…

 

11. I suggest that the Fam go snowshoeing at Trout River and Oldest Daughter states, “Sounds like death.”
10. I suggest that we all go snowshoeing at Trout River and youngest says, “But I would only have to go the bathroom, like,  the whole time.”
9. I find a play medical report one sister has drawn up on another sister, in which the diagnosis she’s written down for ‘said sister’ is mental illness.
8. The toilet has been plugged one too many times.
7. Everyone is getting on everyone else’s last nerve.
6. We’ve only got one can of Zoodles left.
5. Mama has taken to going on long walks, twice daily. Plus snowshoeing treks. Plus long respite breaks on the porch swing. Plus locking herself in the bathroom.
4. Husband, the only one in the family who got the flu shot, has mysteriously been the only one to come down with the flu.
3. We are getting sick of eating donuts. Together. In fact, I have decided I will never make donuts again.
2. Mama has started to expound the benefits of fresh air, to which Oldest Daughter has taken offence when it is mentioned that we’ve all been breathing stale, dirty air for the past four days (“so it might be a novel idea to go out and PLAY”.)
1. Husband is wearing out the knees in his jeans playing Gallup the Horse and has taken to asking that Gallup be allowed to “rest” (while Youngest barks orders at the poor old stud like a drill sergeant). Meanwhile, I clean dust found in every nook and cranny of this house, thus wearing out the knees in my own fine pair of yoga pants.

Honorable Mention: Husband (a.k.a. Gallup) has just said to the Drill Sergeant that he can’t keep it up. And that in fact, he is pooped. This, after she has come wailing out to tell me that Gallup is not playing by the rules.

I could go on like this forever…

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