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Ten Ways Storm Days Bring Me to Insanity

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(please read the following with a sense of humor!!!)

You know how ten minutes prior to eating the entire bag of potato chips it seems like a good idea? Or two minutes prior to inhaling your Big Mac Combo meal- you feel weak in the knees and ravenous because you think it is going to taste SO GOOD. This, my friends, is me- every night prior to a possible delay/cancellation which might bring about a storm day. It just seems like it will be a sweet slice of heaven. A day full of joy and goodwill, marshmallows and cupcakes.

BUT PEOPLE- storm days are a trick. A ploy. And I think they just might be God’s gentle way of reminding us why real-life and routine and everyday hustle and bustle are really not that bad. Please bear in mind that I would LOVE storm days if I was stormed inside my house with four children wired with remote control silencers. Or if I was home by myself and my dear offspring, by some stroke of luck, were at storm-day school. Would absolutely LOVE them. But as I am not home alone and the children have no “off-button”, here are TEN ways storm days reduce me to a burned-out pile of frazzled nerves. Bear in mind, this is all in good fun people. If a storm were predicted for next week, I would probably again feel like a five-year old child waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve.

10. Houses in storms are like hamster cages. I have such pity for my furry little rodent friends after having gone through a storm day. But then again, who is worse off? Hamsters just get to sit there- eat, do their business and sleep. Not so for mothers. And we don’t even have a wheel to pretend we are going somewhere.

9. People still think they have to eat. What is with that? And they think about food a lot. Probably more than they would think about it otherwise- like on a day with nary a snowflake in the sky.

8. Since everyone is holed up together, the odds are things are not going to be smooth sailing. This is the understatement of the century. I will not let on that I had two nervous breakdowns today. I won’t mention that part. I will just let you believe that I was slightly cranky. And that’s enough ’bout that.

7. When things are seemingly going swimmingly, someone will inevitably find something to say/do to someone else that will cause a World War to erupt. Which is to say, we will no longer be playing “Who-noo” in this family.

6. You never quite get done what you thought you would get done- too many expectations and sadly too many mouths to feed/lost items to retrieve/jobs to do/laundry to fold/toilets to wipe.

5. Sadly, you never actually sit down and read that book you said you were going to read. (a.k.a. laundry/toilets)

4. You do end up getting yourself into a project that causes the house to look like an avalanche hit it- something you won’t be able to rectify until it is far too late in the day. And by that time, you don’t care anymore.

3. Your children- who were so delightful when the radio announcements were made early on in the day aren’t quite so cute and charming and sweet as you first found them. At least they are not from about 4:00 p.m. on.

2. But then again. While the evening prior you had the grace and patience of an angel, by 8:00 p.m. on the eve of a storm night, you become a cross between Godzilla and the Wicked Witch of the West. Which is putting it rather nicely.

1. Storm days, while nice, are like candy- too much of a good thing can give you a pain in the gut. And that again is the nicest, sweetest possible way of putting it.

Here’s to regular Fridays!! Have a great evening everyone!!

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